In object-referral we also feel an intense need to control things, and the need for external power. The need for approval, the need to control things, the need for external power are needs based on fear. This kind of power is not the power of pure potentiality, or the power of the Self, or real power. When we experience the power of the Self, there is an absence of fear, there is no compulsion to control, and no struggle for approval or external power.
(resource)Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success